Hell inside my head. Hell in my younger daughter's endless whining and complaining. Hell in my inability to feel I can help her significantly. This weekend almost nothing works, until finally we both collapse in tears. I rarely do this kind of drama with my children, but my little one she was relentless and I just couldn't take anymore. At times like this I absolutely loathe being a single parent.
I allow the final drips of serotonin to leave my body, and I try to replenish this more naturally. I get out to walk beautiful Jake, and he glimmers in the blinding snow. For these few minutes I am ok, and then the barrage starts again. I consider O Mag's article about the therapeutic benefits of crystal meth. I want some.
When my little girl and I fell apart last night, she suggested we sit with our backs straight and our legs crossed and clasp our hands in prayer. We sat in silence together like that. Tonight before I sleep myself, I will watch her sleep and clasp my hands again like she told me to.
3 comments:
that's a nice picture..I also like the picture of two people that care about each other, sitting with their backs to each other, legs out straight, their own weight supporting each other...slightly applying pressure..like a long massage...
Nice image, but not applicable to parents and children--kids lean hard, parents take all the weight, and that is the deal we sign on to. Mostly I love it, but I do have flashes like this when I loathe it.
would be a tough deal for me.
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